She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
