My first STD was from a foam party
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
