were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
