my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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