There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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