So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize