all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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