The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
