So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
