Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize