I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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