Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
