no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
God I need to hump something, right now.
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