Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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