Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
