Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
