Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
