explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
