there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
