all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize