I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
