the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
