marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
