The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
