Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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