It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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