Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
