Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Randomize