yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She's the barista slut.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
