so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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