I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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