Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
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