my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
