I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
