my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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