omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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