he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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