He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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