marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
porn star boner night. come get it.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
