If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
