Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
