please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
