I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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