Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
