Just mADE A PArabola og urine
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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