I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
