so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
