i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
