question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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