OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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