Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
