She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize