you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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