Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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