dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
