the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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