Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize