you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
