it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
