last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
