but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
