im having a threesome with these popsicles
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
