He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
