He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
How external is "for external use only"?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Randomize
