Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
