Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
