Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
