explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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