I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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