i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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