Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
